Today was just one of those days where things were just...off. I can't believe I'm saying this, but Spring Break is a bad thing. A very, very bad thing.
Time away from school needs to come in very specific doses. A couple of days (Thursday/Friday or Friday/Monday) makes a long weekend and those are always wonderful. Long weekends mean short weeks...and short weeks are fantastic. I don't know what it is about having only 4 days in a week, but it feels SO much shorter when just that one day is missing. A couple of weeks (like Christmas break) are nice, because they're long enough that you can really get things done, relax, and by the time it's over you are ready to go back.
But Spring Break -- one week -- is the worst. It is right in the middle of these two wonderful lengths of time. It is long enough that you feel really good about being away from school...but it's short enough that you really, really are not ready to go back when it is time. I feel just awful saying this...but I am just feeling really "over it" right now. I got a whiff of what it's like to be away from school, in the real world (I worked every day, I met with a principal for a job interview, I did lesson plans well in advance) and now I do not want to go back. I would much rather have powered through and ended all of this a week earlier. There are five weeks. FIVE. I have done 10 weeks so far, and this is HALF of that...and I don't think I can take it! I am really falling apart. Not emotionally...and I'm not worried that I'm not going to get it all done (it's pretty much all done already)...but my motivation is just all of a sudden gone.
I started my big unit today and I barely even cared. I put on my excited face for the kids and they got really into it, but inside I was just constantly sighing. I don't know what's going on with me, but I need to snap out of it or these last few weeks are going to be torture. I feel just terrible thinking this way, but I am just so ready to jump into my real life now. I wish Spring Break had never happened, because I was feeling great, really into my groove and latched onto a great routine...and now here I am feeling frustrated, bored, and unmotivated. This was the absolute wrong time for all of this to hit me, because these next two weeks I need to be more motivated and on my game than I have been all semester. I think I waited too long. I should have done my unit before Spring Break when I was feeling good. (I couldn't anyway because the concert is next week and I needed it to all fit together, but I think it would have been better for me individually.)
I wonder if any of the other student teachers are feeling this way. I know most of them have finished their units and are on the downhill slide (some aren't even teaching anything at all now) but there have got to be some like me who are just starting and frankly are just no really "feeling it" right now. Oh, who knows. Maybe tomorrow I'll be hyped up and ready to talk about pirates for 8 hours. But I'm very, very worried that maybe...I just won't. And I don't know what to do if I don't.
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