Today was just like last week (in that I led opening and calendar time), except I added in the assessment portion of my lesson plan. I took all of the elements that they are already used to (saying the date, reading 3-letter CVC nonsense words, estimating and writing greater-than/less-than number sentences) and just tied them to Common Core standards. I'm making a week-long list of what the children attempt to do and whether or not they get it right. I know it's a really basic assessment...but it's all I've got right now. It has been eye-opening to see how the children's skills match up to what a "standard" kindergartner should be able to do.
I am so tired of rushing in to work every day. Last week I put in a whopping 6 hours...it's almost not even worth it. But I have never, in my life, been able to quit things easily -- not jobs, not relationships, not anything! I always worry that quitting something will cheat me out of wonderful opportunities . So I can't. And I wonder if maybe this is why I am having such a hard time admitting that maybe I don't want to be a teacher after all...because it's "quitting" my plan for myself. What if teaching is the best thing for me? What if I am cheating myself out of a great experience?
I like to commit. And if I'm not fully, completely committed...then I'm just not satisfied. So this semester is wholly unsatisfying. I can't commit completely to work, because I just don't have the time...and it makes me feel terrible.
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