Today was the same as yesterday, in the fact that I felt like a complete monster who was just so grumpy and yell-y the entire time! I don't know why this week is going so poorly, but it is. Maybe it's because I wasn't expecting it (and kindergarten is always the opposite of what I expect, I've found). I tried really, really hard to be positive, but they are just in a mood or something where sassing off and talking back is what's going on right now. It's not just me -- the kids are driving Aryn crazy, they're driving Jennie crazy...the other grades are a little crazy, too. Is it the weather? Is there a full moon or something? I just hope it improves tomorrow.
Today I had my final meeting with Aryn and my university supervisor. It went really well! I graded myself too harshly (as always) but I did give myself some 4s this time, which I am proud of! I never do that, so it shows that I really think I've improved this semester. I loved listening to Aryn talk about what she's seen in me that has improved and where I can still make things better. I'm so thankful that she is so honest are realistic, but still nice. I can trust her to seriously tell me when something just is absolutely terrible, but also to give me help to make it better. I know some people's cooperating teachers just give them all 4s and don't provide suggestions for improvement, but Aryn has really helped me to see where I'm lacking (or confirming what I already see as my weaknesses) and given me real, GREAT tips for fixing it -- and the opportunities to fix these things. I need that. We all need that. I'm just lucky enough that I get that.
The other half of that is, she also helps me to see things that I don't see at all (usually these are my strengths, since I tend to miss those and focus on the weaknesses). I get really happy and kind of smiley and giggly (on the inside) when she tells me I did a good job with something. It sounds so lame typing that out, but it's really how I feel -- she's an experienced expert in my eyes and so if she says I did something well, I feel really proud of myself. :)
The last thing I realized today is that the carpool this semester, while also saving me a lot of gas money and miles on my car (not to mention an extra hour of sleep on weeks I don't have to drive) has given me the chance to get a glimpse into other grades and see what is going on in there. I've never taught in a 3rd grade class, but I sort of know what is going on in there thanks to the 2 girls who are student teaching there now. Talking on the way to and from school helps us all see common issues, share exciting or funny stories, or just rant when we need to. I didn't think I would enjoy it this much, but looking back on it, it has been a really good experience. All teachers need time to get together outside of school and talk like this. With my co-workers we do it over dinner or on a night out. It's just really important (I think) to spend time together outside of the common place you all share daily. I've been terrible at making friends since as long as I can remember, but they're really important -- especially "teacher friends." I hope that wherever I end up I can find a group of people to share my experience with just like I have this semester.
And on that happy note, I am going to bed. At 9:30. I can't wait until I can stay up a little later and not feel like a disaster the next morning. 1 more week!
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