Thursday, April 25, 2013

Day 69 - April 25, 2013

Tomorrow is Friday. It doesn't feel real. I know we have to come back next Thursday and Friday to make up for our snow days, but it still doesn't feel like I'm almost done. I am already getting nostalgic (and a little weepy) thinking about not being with these kids anymore, in this school anymore, with Aryn anymore...

I don't think it's quite hit me yet. And it won't hit me until next week when I really, truly have to say goodbye. A few weeks ago I was SO ready. Now I am not ready...not even a little bit. This week has made it so much harder for me to think about saying goodbye. I don't know what it is. Maybe it's because I'm teaching all 26 of them by myself (since Aryn is swimming from 11:45 to 1:30 and Jennie has lunch duty until about 1:15) every day and I'm not stressing out about writing down detailed accounts of how they like my lessons and what I think I should improve and whether or not they're learning the names of the oceans...I'm just teaching. I'm seeing what works and what doesn't, and I'm documenting it (mostly here), but I'm not spending hours upon hours sitting with my head in a notebook handwriting an assessment for whether so-and-so used proper capitalization in her journal entry about what pirates eat. I'm just teaching.

Today was amazing. I know that the past few days have been stressful and I feel like I'm just a yelling, screaming, punishing monster...but not today. Today was different. I don't know what it was, but it was perfect. I did the "talk quietly to draw them in" thing and it worked the very first time. I had them all write their numbers 1-100, and I was expecting a lot of moaning and complaining and refusal to do it. But there was none. I had them all sit and listen while I clearly explained my expectations, I handed them their papers, and they did it. They sat there -- 25 of them today -- and wrote. They didn't talk. They didn't scream my name every 5 seconds to ask me "whyyyy do we have to wriiiiteeee so muuuuuuchhhhh....?" They really wanted to do it, and do it right. They raised their hands to ask for help writing a number. They weren't falling out of their chairs or getting up to sharpen their pencil every minute or whining about how their hands hurt (and trust me, that's what I usually get when it's time for handwriting). They just DID IT. One boy was making some noises while he was writing -- just weird squeaking noises with his mouth that I think he may have been doing subconsciously, and rather than everyone in the room yelling "BE QUIET!!!!" the other children at his table said "Can you please stop? I'm trying to concentrate." No joke. Exactly that phrasing. I don't know if we accidentally put sedatives in their spinach at lunch, but it was a miniature miracle for me. I took a video to show Aryn when she got back because I just could not believe how quiet they were. 20 of them finished their numbers in about 20 minutes. The other 5 I will help finish tomorrow.

This "thumbs-up behavior," as I've grown accustomed to calling it, lasted pretty much all afternoon. They did a good job when they went next door for Math, and Ms. Margie's group did excellent for me in Reading, too. I don't know what the deal was with today, but it was good. I liked it. I want it to stay that way. I am hopeful that it will, and that tomorrow will be just as wonderful as today was. We all need these days, the ones that motivate us and validate what we're doing, and send us home smiling and excited for what tomorrow will bring. I have had more than enough days that do the opposite...I'm so thankful to have some that end up like this. I love to leave school happy. I have faith that tomorrow will be good.

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